


When We Should Burn

by TAETIONARY



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Arson, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAETIONARY/pseuds/TAETIONARY
Summary: Logan Devineaux is just starting out his college life, when his world is turned upside down thanks to a puppy, and a peer he can't seem to understand. But all good things come to an end, and sometimes, things have to go up in flames.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	When We Should Burn

_𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 | 7,333_  
_𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 | 40,723_

**_𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴_ **  
**** _Arson / Large Scale Fire(s)_  
_Major Character Death_  
_Cursing_  
_Traumatic Events_  
_Fluff to Angst Transition_  
_[TBD]_

_Proceed at your own discretion_

_🔥_

_❝ I write. I write so I don't forget. ❞_

_⊱ ─────ஓ๑ ✎ ๑ஓ ───── ⊰_

_ It was another day. As normal as a day could get for a freshman in University. While still new around the campus and the lifestyle changes that came with it, Logan Devineaux was seemingly adjusting fine. It was refreshing to not be surrounded by idiotic classmates that did nothing but scream and disrupt the learning process. In addition, he lived in a dorm room completely alone, so the young adult had even more peaceful solitude to rely on throughout his day. The multitude of books he had checked out and returned to the library in the past three weeks- it was enough to both startle and impress the elderly librarian who worked there. _

_ The workload wasn't too stressful, to him at least. An Economics degree is what he was learning for, but of course, he still had a lot of time to decide. The male was also considering other business degrees of all variety. But, he couldn't deny he had a passion for studying all sorts of history. But that was more of a hobby, hence his collection of books he kept in a pile on his desk. But, he'd read almost everything in his stack, and lost interest in the others. So, it was about time to head back to browse for some new reads. Neatly placing his pile into a leather satchel, he headed out of his room, fiddling with his keys to lock the door, and walking down the intricate hallways to the building's set of double doors leading outside. _

_ It was decent-enough weather for being early October. Partially cloudy, a nice 60° Fahrenheit, so a bit chilly, but overall tolerable with a light jacket. The chirping of the birds overhead was relaxing, but dull. Everything was a bit dull today, for reasons he didn't understand. Logan wasn't as motivated to head where he needed to go. Nevertheless, momentary lack of interest was not going to stop him from his pursuit. Surely, the payoff of the satisfaction that came from individual interest studies would be worth it. _

_ He was walking down the cobblestone path, nearly making it to his destination, before he was unfortunately- sidetracked. _

_ "Wait! Come back!" A voice yelled, breathlessly. It sounded like they were running. Logan, curiously concerned, turned around. About ten feet away, a blonde-ish brown haired boy holding a red leash in his hands, and a large, polar-bear-like dog headed straight in his direction. Logan barely had any time to react, but he managed to toss his satchel aside before holding out his hands, bracing himself for the collision. _

_ Quite cartoon-like, the dog smacked right into his body, quite literally knocking the eighteen-year-old onto the ground. His glasses nearly fell off in the process, but luckily, they only came unhooked on one side of his face, his other ear now a lifeline as the black frames held on with one arm. If that wasn't enough, the hyperactive canine licked him straight in the face, covering his lenses in a thick coat of slobber. Charming introducing. _

_ The unnamed boy caught up to them, immediately crouching down, and re-attaching the leash to the dog's seemingly loose collar. Thousands of apologies left his mouth as he was doing it. "I am so sorry! He's been getting away from me all day today! Won't let me even take him back to the the others... I'm really sorry! Are you hurt?" He asked, offering his hand to the other with a frantic look on his freckled face. _

_ "No, thank you. I'm quite alright." Logan spoke, taking the other's hand. "Look's to me like his collar is loose- might I ask why you're walking a dog on campus grounds?" The male inquired, raising an eyebrow to the unnamed stranger as he was pulled back onto his feet. "Surely there are other, more suitable places for it. Don't you think so?" _

_ The cerulean-eyed male laughed in response. "It's puppy day! This big guy may not look like it, but he's still a pup too. The community service club has a bunch of them in these cute little pens by Roseguard Hall for student mental health week! Nothing says good mental health better than being surrounded by these guys!" He explained, patting the dog on the head, who loudly barked in appreciation. "I'm a volunteer to help out, but this little guy got a little too jumpy, so I decided to take him for a walk. Guess it didn't help much." _

_ "Ah, volunteer work. Very noble of you." Logan commented, dusting off his clothes. He took out a handkerchief from his pocket soon after, wiping off his glasses. They were still going to be smudged until he used the cleaning fluid, but it was better than nothing. "Now, if you have this handled, I'll be leaving n-" _

_ "A-Actually, " The brunette interjected, "Would you mind walking back to the pen with me? I don't want to lose him again... And he seems calm around you." _

_ Logan sighed, pondering his response in his mind. Was he obligated to? Not necessarily. But he didn't want to develop a bad reputation. Then again, did he want to be known as an overly friendly, eager to help persona that everyone suddenly goes to for help? Was he overthinking this? Yes, he had to be... His books could technically wait a few more moments. Hesitantly, he grabbed his satchel from off the ground, swinging it over his shoulder, muttering a quiet, "Certainly." _

_ The stranger smiled, taking both of Logan's hands in a vigorous handshake. "Thank you!" He exclaimed, bright-eyed. Leaning down, he pet the amalgam of fur on the 'puppy'. "Say thank you, Forest." He spoke, in a sing-song voice, seemingly out of affection. The dog stayed silent, but nuzzled up to Logan's hand, so he must have understood to some degree. Wasn't there a study about this he read a while back? Human-Animal interaction and the Basics of Unspoken Communication? "By the way, my name's Patton!" _

_ "Logan, Logan Devineaux." _

_ - _

_ "So you're going for the business stuff? Nice! I'm leaning towards a Special Education degree." Patton told the other, rambling on like he'd been doing for the past fifteen minutes. Oddly enough, Logan- he didn't mind /that/ much. It was nice to hear something other than his professor's monotone voice, and the silence. Still, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't growing a little bit irate at having to assist for this long. He was straying far from his daily plans he had previously scheduled the week prior, by now he should've been into his studies. _

_ Luckily, his nods was seemingly enough of a response for the other, but of course it didn't stop him from spilling every thought that crossed his mind for the self-proclaimed scholar to hear. Everything from, "Birds are so cool with their formations, don't you think?" to "My friend Virgil is touring the world with his band. He's a drummer you know! Really shy though, I'm glad he's finally getting out there" came out of this man's mouth. It was fascinating, really, how one man could talk so much- but probably even more fascinating he was remembering every word. _

_ A few minutes more, and the two had arrived at their destination. A fence stretched out over the grassy patch of the pathway, inside, dogs. All different colors, all different sizes, all different breeds, all playfully 'yipping' in their own tone of voice. Sighing in relief, Patton opened the gate and stepped inside. Almost immediately, he was surrounded by the small army. They jumped, nipped at his shoes, ran in in circles- all sorts of miniature chaos. The cerulean-eyed male chucked, letting the rebel of the group of his leash before closing the gate once more. _

_ "Well then, I should get going." Logan quickly voiced, adjusting his still mildy smudged glasses. "It was a pleasure-" He started, "Make sure those collars are on before you think about taking any other dogs on a walk." _

_ "Aww! You're not gonna have some puppy-time before you go?" The brunette whined, clasping his hands together in what seemed to be a begging stance. At this point, he was just about as clingy as those puppies- and most certainly hyper. "You really look like you need it Logan. I didn't want to say anything at first but... Well you look like you haven't been out in the sun in three weeks..." _

_ Was he going to deny that he was holed up in his room since he got here? Not... Flat out. Changing the subject and ending their contact was probably his best option. "I'm very busy, I do not have time for this." A bit of his irritation shone through his voice with that statement, visibly causing the other to frown. "Sorry, perhaps another time." He added, partially out of guilt. Did he mean that? No, but it was a problem for another day. Without another second to lose, he turned a full 180° degrees to his opposite direction and starting to walk back to the library. _

_ "Funny, aren't you forgetting something?" Patton called out, crossing his arms. _

_ The young adult had the most odd sensation of his shoulder being light- wait a second... Turning around once more, he was being stared at, both figuratively by his satchel, and literally by the brunette. Of course. Was he seriously about to leave his books here to get damaged and/or stolen? How could he be so careless? Was he really that- deprived of his human senses from all the reading he was doing? Wasn't that supposed to be beneficial to the human brain, instead of causing him to question his judgement? No, it wasn't the books, it was... That dim-witted dog walker. _

_ Sighing deeply, he raised a hand to the bridge of his nose in personal frustration. "Right, thank you." Logan expressed his gratitude, already starting to walk back to claim his belongings. To his surprise, right as he was about to take it, the bag escaped the grip of his hands. The captor: the only thorn in his side thus far. Wonderful. He opened his mouth to speak, but was met with a finger to the face, and a death glare straight out of the depths of hell. _

_ "Nope, no way. You're not getting this back until we have puppy time." Patton demanded, holding the bag in the air. What- was he a madman? Holding his books as a hostage, in a bargain of some chaotic proportion? "You're getting in that pen, and we're going to sit criss-cross applesauce and pet some puppies. You do not have a choice." The boy spoke, with such a commanding prescence- it was terrifying that such an order involved puppies. _

_ "Look I-" _

_ Before he could retaliate, Logan was being dragged by the arm by a strong, slightly painful grip. A devilish grin on the boy's face, Patton sat down first, soon patting the ground next to him, as a gesture of both polite courtesy, and an expression that read something along the lines of, 'You will regret it if you do not sit down.' Seeing no other choice than to oblige, the logician, defeatedly, took his place beside the other. _

_ Never in the millions of daily scenarios he played in his head did he imagine that he'd be sitting in the grass, with a lunatic, surrounded by puppies because his books were being used as ransom. What a waste of time this was going to be. Perhaps he should have accepted the countless offers he had in Ivy League schools for Robotics. Robotics didn't involve being held captive by canines and crazy people. _

_ "Good. Now we can talk about you. You barely said anything our whole walk, so now's your chance to redeem yourself. What makes up 'you', Logan?" The cardigan-wearing figure asked, picking up a few smaller puppies and holding them affectionately in his arms. "You're going for Economics, but what do you do for fun?" A second question escaped his lips, most likely either as clarification of the first, or cancelling it out completely. Surely he didn't want to know about his hobbies, right? That would be an absurdity, an irrelevant one at that. _

_ Contemplating his answer, Logan instinctively starting petting a small, white Pomeranian that nuzzled his hand, licking it with its miniscule tongue. "I dabble in history from time to time... Hence the books I'm trying to return sitting inside my satchel." Logan spoke, eyeing the bag that the brunette had not so hidden behind his back. "Other than that, study. I find information to be the best type of pure enjoyment." _

_ "That's neat, but don't you think that you'll get tired of learning about other people? Why don't you try to learn about yourself?" Patton asked, seemingly enthralled with the young adult's answer. "You read things like excerpts and journal entries from people of the past, right? Why don't you keep a journal yourself?" _

_ Raising an eyebrow, Logan bit the inner corner of his cheek as he responded with a simple, "What purpose would that serve? I already know everything about myself." _

_ The blue-eyed male didn't believe it for a second. "Do you really? If all you ever do is read and answer questions with only the knowledge of others in your big brain, doesn't that make you a carbon copy? A robot? I bet you don't even remember the last time you felt anything from somebody else's real world impact." The male called him out, a bit of a sad expression wilting the corners of his mouth to a frown. "What's your favorite color? What's your favorite flower? What do you want your life to be like? You need to remember these things! Don't let yourself forget who you are!" _

_ "Why should any of that matter? It serves no direct importance into human functionality. Knowledge is the only power we should wield." The logician spat, flatly. "The human brain has far more capability when simple pleasantries aren't crowding it, taking up space in memory banks." A light breeze caressed the male's jet black hair, and he couldn't help but take a deep breath in. Seeing this, Patton pushed the other down into a laying position, soon resting on the plush, soft grass himself. Now half-blinded by the glare the sun had picked up on his glasses, Logan looked up, straight-faced. "I don't understand you." _

_ "You like the breeze." The cerulean-eyed boy breathed, quietly. "It's nicer down here. And you can see the sky." _

_ Silence _

_ "Mhmm, You understand me, you just don't know it yet." _

_ Did he want to understand him? Did he have a choice? What was going on? Why did he feel so... Wrong? _

_ Minutes of silence passed. Logan couldn't keep track of how many it had been, in fact, he was fairly certain that he'd dozed off once or twice. Then, in a bit of a shock, Patton stirred next to him. He watched in a certain lackluster peace as the other set his bag down beside him. "You're free from jail, now don't go around walking into lampposts or anything! I'll see you around." The brunette spoke, humming a soft tune as he walked away. Only then did he come back to his senses enough to process that the sun was setting. Mixes of baby pinks, oranges, yellows, and all shades of blue painted the sky. It was more color than he remembered- brighter but not intense, or hard in the eyes. _

_ The library was most definitely closed by now. Was he all that upset over it anymore? No. Just... Dazed with a sort of confusion he wasn't familiar with. He stood up, slowly, and started to head back to his dorm room. The path was more intricately decorated than he remembered. Every stone looked strategically placed, instead of a pile of just rocks. He started to wonder just how it all happened. Not the rocks- how whatever this illusion was had infiltrated the inner workings of his mind. He wasn't drugged in his sleep... Was he? No, couldn't be, he was aware and making conscious decisions without any sense of being off balance or dizzy. In fact,he felt more aware than he had this morning... What a strange development. _

_ When he arrived back at his room, he sat down at his desk with a certain unsettling feeling pumping in his veins. He took his glasses off his face, hoping the blurred world made more sense than one that was supposed to be clear-cut as he finally got a chance to clean them off with a wet towelette that was doused in the cleaning solution. Holding his head in his hands, he began to review his day. Walk... Grass... Sky... He didn't do anything difficult or overly productive, so why was he so frazzled? _

_ Reluctantly donning his now clean eyewear once more, he stood, quickly grabbing an empty, leather covered journal off one of his shelves before being seated again. He had originally planned to use this for extra note taking, but... If he was using it for an experiment, a personal one at that, it could be expendable. There was a store not too far from campus grounds if he really needed a replacement. Pressing a button on the side of his desk lamp, the golden-tinted light flickered on like an open flame. A bit unsure of how exactly to start, he did the best he could with the knowledge he had to him in that moment. _

_ ❝ This is the first entry of the scientific journal of Logan Devineaux. ❞ _

_ - _

_ It didn't end there. Every time Logan went into a 'burnout' phase, he'd appear. They went to the most simple places, did the most simple things. And yet, every time they were done, it had the young male questioning himself. Writing, he wrote everything down three months into this endeavor. The pages of his singular notebook were entirely filled to the brim with words and observations that spilled over multiple pages. There was one common theme hidden in all of his run-on sentences within that singular book, though. Everything in there was a dull, soul-sucking read except for the days he was with that... Patton. He needed to find out why. Why was he different? _

_ So, one January morning, right after the extended holiday break, he made his way to the building, of his own free will, the community service club met in every Thursday. He made his way there early out of courtesy so he wouldn't disrupt their meeting. He might regret the decision he was making here... But he had to know. He had to learn what was happening to him. So, a gloved hand knocked against the mahogany door, every pound filling Logan with a bit of a nervous flutter in the pit of his stomach. _

_ And lo and behold, who was standing in the doorway of this establishment? The prime suspect in this mystery. The familiar freckles on his cheeks were still just as prominent in the wintry air of the changed season than that of the still warmer first encounter in October. As usual, his face lit up upon seeing his regular kidnapee. "Logan! You're here!" He exclaimed, tackling the other male in a hug. Suddenly, he pushed away, slightly. "Wait, what ARE you doing here?" _

_ "Patton, hello. I didn't expect you to be the one at the door." Logan started, nervously fumbling with his hands behind his back. "I was actually hoping to speak to your club leader... I have an interest in joining for a trial period if that would be alright with them." _

_ The brunette stared at him, deadpanned, before bursting out laughing. "Logan! You didn't know? I'm the leader of this club." He explained, still half-wheezing from his lack of oxygen from all the laughter. "Why did you think I was alone at the pen the first day other than the security? I didn't have any other club members!" _

_ ...What? "You're the- I must admit I wasn't expecting that." The logician laughed a bit himself, rubbing the back of his neck as a newly discovered nervous habit. He cleared his throat, breaking some awkward silence that had spewed between the pair. "Anyways, if that is the case, should we perhaps discuss this at a later date? I don't want to keep you from delaying your meeting." _

_ "Oh there's no need. You can come and go in this club as you please, anything is fine with me! We have one-time volunteers almost constantly, but all of the regulars are here tonight. Why don't you come in and meet them?" Patton suggested, already swinging the door open a little wider. Inside, five others sat on sofas around a freshly lit fireplace. They all seemed... Distinctly different from each other for one reason or another. It was intriguing, just like the day that he'd met Patton. _

_ "Sure." He answered, quickly. _

_ An even wider smile spread across the other's face. "Yay! Okay, follow me, I'll introduce you to the others." The brunette spoke, once again grabbing ahold of Logan's wrist, leaving an all too familiar red mark on it as he was dragged away. They stopped in the middle of the room, curious eyes from all directions staring at them. "Everyone! This is Logan! He wants to help us for a little while!" _

_ - _

_ "Well, that's just about all the time we have! Great job today everyone! And Logan, thank you so much for volunteering to assist with the finance side of things! I'm sure Dee will really appreciate the help!" The club leader exclaimed, clasping his hands together in gratitude. A snarl came from the other side of the room as the mentioned member rolled their eyes out of spite. Turning his head, the dazzling ocean-eyed male gave Logan a small wink before continuing what he was saying. "Now then, who wants to volunteer to teach Logan our ending ritual?" Patton asked the group. Before anyone else could say another, one of the Kingsley twins stood up. _

_ "I will!" Roman exclaimed. Without a second thought, the prince-like figure grabbed two small, pre-cut pieces of paper from off the nearby table. One was placed in front of him, and the other to Logan. "Pay attention, four eyes. I invented this tradition." He spoke, pridefully, "And Patton helped a tiny bit too..." Soon, he was taking said paper and scribbling something onto it. "Take your paper, write something negative that happened to you this week, and toss it in the fire. Decorate it if you want, it doesn't really matter all that much. Got it?" _

_ Logan nodded, staring back at the table. "May I ask why you burn them? Surely you have enough firewood to last." The male inquired, bringing his paper closer to his face, examining it from all angles. It wasn't perfectly symmetrical, but if it was to be discarded by an open flame, it didn't matter. Still, he couldn't wrap his head around the concept, it was foreign to him. _

_ "We burn away the negativity..." The figure known as Virgil chimed in. He was already crouched by the fireplace, his paper, which was already completely taken up by a multitude of words, catching the embers that punched holes in its tangibility. The violet-eyed member turned around as he let go of his thoughts. "Roman, that glitter better not be flammable or I swear to whatever God you believe in-" _

_ Roman, who was dumping an entire container of golden glitter on his own and Dee's paper hissed in annoyance. "Oh shut up, Panic at the Everywhere! Go back to touring with your emo band already!" _

_ Logan didn't know how to react, until he was once again dragged away by someone. He and Patton were making their way to the door, stepping outside for a moment. The cerulean-eyed male let out a breath, one that was visible, and lingered in the frigid and frozen outside air. "Sorry about that, they're- a lot sometimes. But they're my kids at this point..." The boy began to ramble again, much like he always tended to do. Logan listened, patiently, until he got it out of his system. It didn't take long, as he soon jumped a bit in surprise, "Oh! I'm doing it again... Sorry. Anyways, uh... I actually have a question for you this time, if it's alright. I mean, you're the one usually with all the questions but... Change of seasons, change of roles, huh?" _

_ "You're alright, do go on." The logician insisted. "I do usually have all the questions, but I would like to be the one giving some of the answers every now and then." The door was slightly ajar, thus he could still hear, in the distance, a low hum of muffled conversation, and the crackling of the fireplace. He'd been noticing all sorts of little things recently, so much it was hard to focus on the big picture. He shook his head a little, refocusing. "I can't say I'm not curious about your query, Patton. You seem... tense." _

_ Freckled cheeks dusted in snowflakes flushed thousands of shades of red in an instant. "Y-Yeah! Uh... Just kinda hot here... outside... in the snow." The boy stumbled over his word choice, a feat that was amusing in its own, unique way. "Anyways, I was just wondering if you wanted to go hang out sometime- you know, OTHER than these charity events? If you'd like that? We could go to the park or to a movie... Or anything really! What about dinner?" _

_ "...Sure." _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #112, I've been asked to a recreational activity outside of our prior engagements related to the club. I have accepted, under the conditions of 'dinner and a movie'. I will update after such events take place. I cannot help but feel a bout of energy coursing through me at the thought of such. Energy, nervousness, all sorts of emotions I do not fully understand yet outside of their definitions. I am confused. ❞ _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #325, Patton has asked me what I know about love. I could not give a fully acceptable answer, apparently. He has offered to teach me. I feel a certain way I cannot express ever since. I've had hot flashes, nausea, and excessive sweating. Perhaps I am catching ill. I will visit the campus nurse tomorrow with this list of symptoms to get a diagnosis. I am especially concerned that I may have spread the contagion to Patton. I do not want him to suffer because of my actions.❞ _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #741, Patton has asked to become a couple. I understand the implications. I can't fathom a time where I couldn't. I need more time to understand myself, but during such time, I will have Patton's assistance. I feel a fire within myself, metaphorically of course. I was surprisingly eager to accept, the other observed. He may just be a better observer than myself, so with our increased social contact, results should come quicker.❞ _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #1157, Love, I understand its prospects. Passion and devotion are a flame- no, an ember, that catches fire, burning everything in its path, until you become a bonfire. Yet, at the same time, it's a cool embrace of an autumn evening. Contradictory and beautifully interwoven in the heavens. The world is colorful, and I am no longer blind to such. I will keep writing so I do not forget. Patton and I now live together as of today.❞ _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #1460, I've graduated an Economics major. Despite now being slightly dull, I'm still particularly good with data. Patton has received his Special Education degree, and already has a job offer at the local elementary school. I have plans for a surprise later. Roman helped with the decor, and he and Virgil helped me pick out the ring. What Roman doesn't know is that I helped Virgil pick out his. I'm not worried, not at all. I have faith in my feelings. The fire- I'm going to pour the gasoline on it, figuratively, and watch it burn. Hopefully, it will for a long, long time.❞ _

_ ❝ Journal Entry #2215, After roughly two years, we have finally tied the knot. The future looks bright, a blazing sun of opportunity is coming our way, I can feel it.❞ _

_ - _

_ And then, it all went to hell, and it happened so fast. _

_ It was another normal day. He'd gone off to work for another early meeting. His loving husband had been nice enough to pack him a lunch with a handwritten note in it to brighten his day. The day was pretty dull in terms of eventfulness so far, interns once again, could never do their simple jobs correctly. The coffee was over-sugared, and practically burning to the touch. You'd think after six months of being there, at least one of them would remember that he didn't like his coffee hot enough to burn off his taste buds with a single drop. Still, it wasn't the worst thing in the world to have happened. _

_ Logan worked for a private company as a data analyst. Nothing too exciting, he basically just looked over the numbers he got and used it to help make business decisions. The job was fairly easy in terms of organizing. Sometimes the male wondered of he should've chosen a more challenging path. Still, income was stable, so complaints were minimal on his end. Today, however, was an important day. One he nearly forgot about. _

_ The realization only hit him when he saw a small group of children approaching his desk, and a certain school teacher leading it all. Oh, right, the field trip. It was today. Logan quickly set aside his notepad as the figures only grew closer. A warm smile formed on his face as he watched his husband draw closer. He did have a surprise, hidden under his table, but that was for a little later. _

_ "Alright kiddos! This is Mr. Devineaux, he's going to be our tour guide for today! Say hello everyone!" Patton exclaimed, both speaking and signing his words for everyone to understand. A collective assortment of 'hello's and small waves came from the bunch, some more enthusiastic than others, one or two of them seemed particularly shy, which was to be expected. "He's going to help us have a lot of fun today!" _

_ Logan let out a low chuckle, "As exciting as a business center can be." The male stood up from his creaky seat, quickly logging off his computer. "Don't worry, I promise it won't be too boring." The analyst spoke, a semi-focused look on his face as his computer screen went dark. "Now then, shall we get going?" The male inquired, a rhetorical question, considering these kids didn't really have a choice. "Does anyone have any questions before we start?" _

_ "Mister, I have a question." A figure voiced. A small, brown haired girl in a wheel chair, seemingly the only one of the group with one. She had a red ribbon tied at the back of her hair, and a matching design on the blanket she had on, covering the lower half of her body. A similar shade of the color hugged the plastic structure of the support item. Curiously, she held a finger to the side of her cheek as she as asked,"Why's your name the same as our teacher's?" _

_ The married couple blushed, momentarily making eye contact. _

_ Luckily, Patton stepped in on this one. "Oh, well... That's something you'll have to wait until your older to understand." The brunette explained, awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his neck. "I think we should be heading on that... Tour now, if nobody has any other questions." Quietly grabbing ahold of the girl's red-rimmed wheel chair the blue-eyed teacher started to push the girl a little bit closer to the group, asking. "Are you ready Logan?" _

_ The events of early that day are a bit of a blur. All Logan can really recall is that he took the group through the hallways , up the ramps, into the elevators, rooms of all types, and into the spare room where they had set up some interactive toys for the kids to play with before they were supposed to go to lunch. Everything was so normal... So perfect. Hardship, suffering, pain. It was the least likely to be on anyone's mind on that day. Everything was warm, happiness flooded the building with every smile a child gave, and everything felt right. That is when the deafening blaring of the fire alarm went off. _

_ As the teacher here, Patton immediately started his attempts of calming the now rowdy kids. Many of them started crying on the spot once the shouting outside began. If this was their school, they would have a specialized fire escape to go out of, but this... They were under terrible circumstances. The sprinklers overhead were not going off, they were unfamiliar with the building layout, and they were in a room with a one-way entrance/exit. This- this was bad. Really bad. _

_ No one knew what was happening, or why. The only thing that was certain, was that this building they were all in, it was burning brighter than any memories Logan had ever kept in his journals. Screams, ear-shattering and agonizing, coming in every direction. Large crashes and booms echoed on the first floor, as what sounded like gunshots rang through the air. These kids- they were in danger. His coworkers were perhaps losing their lives downstairs. His lover looked at him with a certain ferocity the analyst had never seen before. Terror glazed his eyes as the analyst racked his brain for..! Anything! This life... They worked so hard to build it together. He had to protect it! He couldn't lose it, not like this! _

_ But what could he do? They were trapped, and smoke began to infiltrate the crack underneath the door frame. There was only one way out, no windows either, at least not in this room. There were only two options they really had. He and Patton could take these kids and make a run for it to the main entrance and risk the possibility of getting tangled up with guns or seething flames, or they could stay put, and hope that help arrived before the smoke... There was no right answer here, it was all based on luck... He had to gamble with lives. Not only his own, the lives of these kids where some of them are physically impaired, and- _

_ "Darling... Get out of that big brain of yours." Patton approached, slowly. His entire being was visibly trembling as he latched himself onto the other in... a hug. "Get out of your head right now. We need to do something. Your mind... It's not gonna help us this time. Do you hear me?" Tears threatened to fall from the male's ocean eyes as he bit the bottom half of his lip. Hands shaking violently, he reached for the other's chest, placing both atop his husband's pounding heart. "I have to save these kids. It's my job. I need to get them to safety. Please... Listen to what your heart is saying. Tell me what you want me to do, I can't make a decision that leaves you behind. Tell me what you want me to do." _

_ At this point, the brunette was breaking down into suppressed sobs, burying his head into the other's shoulder. "I can't do it Logan, I can't be the one to decide here. Please... Please just tell me what you want... It's what I want. It has to be... It always has been." The male cried, the tears soaking and seeping into his husband's tie. "You're the decision maker. Please." The sadness, the fear, it just wouldn't seem to stop. Logan watched as his lover silently suffocated from the tears and the fast-infiltrating smoke, unsure of what the hell he needed to do. _

_ Logan... Make the decision. Lives are in the line. Listen to your heart- he didn't have a heart for so many years! How could he trust it now?! How could he live with the blood on his hands if things went wrong?! Why did it have to be him?! Couldn't... Couldn't Patton make his own damn decisions?! He seemed to do it just fine back in college! But... But now... He was cracking. Not Patton, HE was cracking from the pressure. There was- there was only one thing he could do. No one else could do it for themselves, not in their current states. It had to be him. That's why- _

_ "...We're getting them out of here. We can take the ramp, we only have to go down one floor. We'll need to be quick with the smoke, or else we're going to get in serious trouble. Think you can get them on board?" Logan asked, his breaths shallow and quick as he put his hands on the other's shoulders. "It'll be quick, we can do it, sunshine." _

_ Picking his head up, Patton nodded, wiping away the streaks of waterworks on his face leading from his puffy eyes. Slowly he approached the group once more, doing his best to feign a cheery smile. It hurt like a thousand knives to the chest. "Everyone, we're going to play one last game. Everyone grab each others' hands and DO NOT LET GO. We're going to see how fast we can get out of this maze. Follow Mr. Devineaux, and everything will be fine." The lies spilling from his mouth tasted like bile as he spoke each one individually. "Logan," the teacher started, wheeling the girl from before to the protection of his husband. "You take the front, take Sasha with you, lead us out. I'll take the back to make sure no one gets left behind." _

_ Understanding the other's instructions, Logan placed a gentle kiss atop his lover's forehead, mumbling a quiet, "I love you." Then, without hesitation, he swung open the doors to hell and dashed into the flaming hallway. The ceiling was caving in, slightly, as rubble fell from above like a post-apocalyptic movie. The fire grew with every step he took, dancing across the pathway every few seconds. His lungs burned as involuntary coughs wrecked out of his system from the strangling smoke spreading throughout the building. Beads of sweat laced his forehead as he looked back for a split second, seeing Patton shouting something inaudible to the kids while doing his best to sign in the process. _

_ They got to the ramp in about two minutes, Logan motioning for the group to follow as he descended with the wheel chair, and a petrified, screeching Sasha riding on it. Once everyone made it down, they picked up the pace once more. They were on the opposite side of the building, but if they ran, they'd make it. The beating of a newly found heart never left his ears as the group continued down the intricate hallways. Just a quick dash to the door, and they'd be home free. Three steps... Two... One... And then, oxygen. _

_ He collapsed, but kept his consciousness as he watched each of the seven kids in the group come out of the scorching structure. Freedom. Dear God, they were alive. They did it. They were safe. And yet, he waited to watch his lover come out not too far behind. _

_ Ten seconds passed _

_ Thirty seconds passed _

_ A minute _

_ Two minutes _

_ "Does... Does anyone know where your teacher is?" Logan asked, a sinking feeling in him as the reality of the situation began to sink in, slowly. Patton... He was probably just... just... _

**_"H-He got hit by the ceiling... He told me to keep going..."_ **

_ No... No it couldn't be. He couldn't be... He was with them the whole time. This wasn't real. It was a nightmare. A fever dream. A hallucination. It couldn't end this way... They still had so much left to do together... No, he was still in there. He was still alive, but... He needed to go back in there. He needed to save him. There was still a chance. A chance he had to take, at all costs. Before he could even stand, an outline of a figure could be seen running for the doorway. They were still trying to escape- they had brown-ish blonde hair, and the most beautiful cerulean eyes you could ever see. Freckles hugged his sweat-drenched face. It was Patton. He was still alive, still running for their future. And then... _

**_Boom._ **

_ - _

_ In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet. _

_ For just a moment _

_ A yellow sky _

_ - _

_ He went home that night after spending four hours in the hospital, clinging to his husband's body while receiving treatment. They wanted to keep him overnight, but he refused. The damage in his lungs wasn't lethal, and to put it frankly, he didn't care. He just wanted to go home. The children were fine, the deed was done. And yet, he lost everything. Logan had nothing to celebrate, in his mind at least. He was a hero, but at the cost of the worst casualty of them all. His phone was ringing off the hook, nonstop. Virgil, Dee, Roman, Remus, everyone was calling him. He didn't care. _

_ He sat at his desk. Alone. It was cold, it was unforgiving. He took his spark and fed the flame of his feelings until they burned up completely, taking his only light with them. This grief... It had a gravity he couldn't contain, one he couldn't understand. He didn't want to understand it. He wanted it to burn. He wanted it all to burn. Everything, everything he built up until now, it was worthless without someone to share it with. He was a failure. If only he wasn't so naive, so blind, he wouldn't be so hurt right now. If only he didn't give into the lies that... That fake love gave him. _

_ Not knowing what else to do, he pulled out all seven of his journals. Opening up the current one, he flipped to the last page, vigorously writing away. The words he wrote would stay with him for the rest of his days, no matter how much he didn't want them to. _

_ ❝ Journal 3309, _

_ I write. I write so I don't forget. _

_ But... ❞ _

_ "I want to forget." He spoke, finishing the last of his entry with words of the mouth. He took a lighter out of his desk, watching lifelessly as the pages caught the spark, and burned into a pile of ash. He lit every single book, watching the fire spread from their worthless words to the desk. That would do it. Quietly, he walked put of the place he used to call home. He waited outside on the sidewalk, until the whole thing caught fire. Then, he walked down the empty, dimly lit street, feeling the cool breeze on his face. Did he know where he was going? What he was going to do now? No, but he was going to rebuild. _

_ Without anything as trivial as love getting in his way. _


End file.
